Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

In an existance full of Infinite Universes

According to the many-worlds interpretation, there are countless number of Earths where Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin never made it. These Earths are culturally more robust for it.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Matters of the Heart

Be careful when taking advice on love from another, they are not unlike the rocket scientist who says, "It should take off, the math says so."

Saturday, May 12, 2012

My only regret

It is such a beautiful day outside, I only wish I had a pretty girl with which to share it with.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Screw you Franklin.

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Ben Franklin
Apparently Old Ben didn't like sleeping in, just sleeping around. Well Ben I got a saying for you; no glove no love, unless of course you like syphilis.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Where is Captain Planet when you need him?

Imagine this; someone from the future shows up out of thin air (like they often do), and tells you a horrid story about how in the future humanity consumes itself through its nearly immeasurable hubris. This traveler shows you hours of evidence, proving beyond the shadow of a doubt the validity of his claim. Then he tells you that unless you and the rest of humanity changes its course, one thousand years from the time you occupy, humanity will be destroyed.

Do you think, "Well I've got to get on saving the human race!"
Watching House is much more fun than saving humanity.

Or perhaps you think, "One thousand years from now? Fuck it." And then you show the time traveler the door, and go back to watching House, or whatever it is you t.v viewers watch.

If you fall into the former group, good job! You are compassionate enough of a person to not only care about yourself, which is difficult for many people, but you also care about people whom you can never meet. Thumbs up! Don't let go of that.

If you fall into the latter group, well I'd like to call you a dick, but you have a point. One thousand years from now? Why give a shit? No one can give you a single logical reason to care! You'll be dead! Your children will be dead, their children will be dead, and their children will be dead. Anyone born in your gene pool who you can meet and connect with will already be dead by then. So why care? Just enjoy yourself! Toss that extra large drink container out the window! Buy the biggest, baddest, most wasteful penis enhancer of a vehicle you can afford! Hell buy it even if you can't afford it! Only buy vegetables that have been pre-cut, and packaged in three separate layers! Just enjoy yourself because you only live once.

Now I would like to speak to those of you who fell into the former group again. Stop playing fair, throw that compassion out the window on this issue. Because I can tell you for a fact, the latter group up there ^^^^^, could care less whether humanity, the planet, or the Red Boobied Jack Warbler lives or dies. They don't care, either because they will be dead, or they think they are going to be raptured long before the future even comes. You can't convince these people over to your side, because you have nothing to offer them. So play dirty, put money behind your agenda, use propaganda, just do everything and anything necessary to win.

Or you could just what I do, try to reason with people in a vain attempt to change minds without violating a strict set of moral principles.  While an unshakeable feeling of utter futility slowly seeps its way into every fiber of your being, leaving you a cynical husk of what once was a human being.

Please in this case do what I say, not what I do.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Mitt Ronmey must love Monopoly

"I love paying the taxes that I am legally required to, and you should too."
News flash! Mitt Romney is filthy rich! Wait aren't most politicians egregiously wealthy? Well yes, but old Mitt you see made twenty one point seven million dollars in 2010, and paid only 13.9% of that in taxes. How he was able to do this was through some very smooth legal maneuvers that hid a good deal of what he made from the IRS. Now before you ask, the answer is no, you may not legally dodge paying your taxes. Or at least you could if you made significantly more than you do now.

What did Mitty have to say about this, 

"I pay all the taxes that are legally required and not a dollar more... I don't think you want someone as the candidate for president who pays more taxes than he owes." 
Then from the ABC article we get this,

"That may be true, but some tax experts say Romney took advantage of loopholes in the system to pay a lower rate. "All these disclosures, all these complicated, expensive transactions, all aimed to reduce his tax," Wilkins said. "The overarching message is, this is the way the tax system is tilted towards the wealthy. These are advantages middle income people don't get." 

So taking this together I think I can better rewrite Mitt's previous statement,

"I pay all the taxes that are legally required, based on laws which favour people like me, who are of far greater means than you. I don't think you want someone as the candidate for president who pays more taxes than he thinks he owes."  

I agree wholeheartedly Mitt, I'm also willing to play by the rules when they are set up in my favour.