My Little Buddies

I don't think that I can ever eat an orange again. I just couldn't bear it, my guilt would drive me over the deep end. 

The joy brings tears to mine eye.

Before you go and start believing that I may have come unhinged just hear me out. Today while working away whistling happily to myself I happened upon a bag of tangerines, whose brand name was Little Buddies and the bag was adorned with a picture of three very merry looking  little tangerines. They were so joyous and gay, one was dancing, while another laughed, and the third was just smiling at his friends. They were so full of life, of hopes and dreams. They looked like they were ready to conquer the world, with "friendship!" as their battle cry and mirthful laughter as their weapon. If someone were to create a contest in which contestants had to most accurately portray the joys of life and incredible mirth, our Little Buddies would beat the Dalai Lama like a red headed step child. No joke.

This is where my dilemma comes in, how could I devour something so cheerful? When I think about eating one of them I just imagine his little look of bliss turn into a twisted face of abject horror as he realizes that I've just consumed his frontal lobe. It leaves me feeling more than a bit guilty. 

Why can't getting my daily allotment of vitamin C be more easy and less guilt ridden?

UPDATE! June 11th, 2011

This morning some cruel and thoughtless, nay I should say monstrous, human being sent me this picture with the words, "Thought you might find this funny..." in the email.

OH GOD NO!

I am horrified and speechless as I stare at this image straight out of my worst nightmares. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go and cry while sitting in the fetal position.